sigh

i got into sdsu. i didnt cry this time. i guess i cried when i got into cal poly because it was the first one that i got accepted to anywhere. but yeah... i don know where to go. a part of me wants to stay home with friends, family, and my room, but a part of me wants to experience what it's like being "legally independent" and being a bonafide college student. but i guess getting accepted to any college makes me independent in my own way because i worked hard to get where i wanted to go.

i wish decisions werent so hard make. even the small ones are stressful. like which jacket to wear in this wonderfully, cold, hail-ish weather. i love it. i smiled when i heard thunder and the hail on my roof top. i can hear the trees outside swaying frantically and the butterfly wind chimes singing away. its awesome. aniwayz.. back to decisions. now i gotta make up my mind if i want to go away or stay. sdsu or cal poly pomona.

it sucks not knowing things that are really important. its like... "why?" you know? aniwayz... senior interviews are coming up. i need to review the stupid ESLRS. i wish i were outside right now. in a car with the moon roof open just looking up and not feeling anything.

i sound all emo... wat the heck...

aniwayz... i guess its the weather. it hasnt rained in a rediculously long time. todays good for the hail and rain.... and cold winds wrapping me around like a skintight outfit. meow!

crapx2. prom is coming up. its stressy. and being a girl is expensive. especially in senior year. from the "plethora" (i know right....) of colors, i cant find one for me. sdhiogaiophg boo!

i found a new love. death cab for cutie, weezer, and blondie. good songs. factual lyrics. WONDERFUL acoustics/electric guitarring. i heart it. and i heart me. and i heart you. ok.............

so yah... back to being bored.

ugh! stupid senior class assembly! dammit! all these freakin deadlines and payments and tests and PROM! dammmit! exactly 4 more months till graduation. JUNE freakin 16th. i cant believe it. aiphfphapifhafh

shit

wow.... im writing in here like a little freshman again. its cool.

aniwayz.. wow... my last enrty said i applied to college...

and this entry says I GOT ACCEPTED TO CAL POLY!!!! wo0oho0o. im so glad. cal poly is my second choice after sdsu. my mom got the mail and gave it to me. i saw the name of where it came from and thats when i stopped breathing. i held my breath in hoping that it would help with my fear and excitedness at the same time.

it didnt...

as soon as i saw the words "CONGRATULATIONS! You have been admitted to...." i stopped reading and cried. i called out to my mom and she thought something happened to me, like i fell or something. and i gave her the letter and she read it and all. she asked me why i was crying and i said i thought i wasnt gonna be accepted because my grades werent good enough. but obviously they were..

im proud of myself for making my parents proud of me. its the best feeling a daughter or any child can get. am i right??? or am i right??? yup.

so yeah... one factor is where am i gonna stay? should i get into a dorm? or go rent a cheap apartment?? i dunno.. i still need to figure that out... and another factor... i have no idea how im gonna afford it, but my parents said they'll help me with it. i just hope i'll get a job on campus or somewhere up in pomona that will at least help me with paying for books and supplies n stuff like that.

im so excited and i cant help it. that letter is such a motivation to get this year over and done with. but thats the sad thing. its the only way for me to get there to finish what im doing right now. i just hope that these last months of high school will be so worth it that i would have enough fun and  to get me through without the memories and all the good shit. its impossible... i know... u can NEVER have too much fun.

i should stop procrastinating and actaully do the pointless senior portfolio. its such a drag. its just something the administration want seniors to do so that out heads and bodies can be more stressed in addition to all the shit we have to put up with so that we can graduate and be so-called "adults".

sigh. for all u underclassmen.... u guys lick Class of o6's ass for not having to do the portfolio. im kidding*

*im not kidding

big sigh of relief. i applied to college. and with the help of friends (ilianna, paloma, abi, matt fur, manny, carlos and michelle),  i was motivated to do so. thanx guys! it was like... fate. if it werent a freakin minimum day, i would've never gone to ilianna's house to use her comp to finish the applications cuz i wouldnt have time because of rehearsals and my comp would be ass-sucking if i were to do it on my comp. BUT IT WAS A MINIMUM DAY!!!!!!!!! AND I DID FINISH MY APPLICATIONS!!!!! yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!! i only applied to 6 tho

SDSU
CAL STATE SAN MARCOS
CAL STATE LONG BEACH
CAL POLY POMONA
CAL STATE SAN JOSE
DOMINGUEZ HILLS

i dont even kno where some of them are located. but theyre mostly upper-middle cali. so its all good. the parentals dont really want me to leave the state, and i dont really wanna leave cali unless i transfer somewhere in like 3rd year or something. oh and i guess i gotta apply to SWC too just in case. and most likely, for sure they'll accept me. i really wanted to go to UCSD, but i guess i can always transfer out after 2 years. hopefully...

ok...... so i applied. so now what.... i guess we wait. grrrrrrrr i hate waiting. it makes me feel like i have no control. cuz i technically dont. but yah... if it werent for ilianna's sick-ass computer and everyone yelling at me... i'd have no future. so thanx a million bunch you guys. even tho no one reads this crap no more....